The barrage felt unending. Nearly two weeks of relentless negativity washed over me. Dozens of venomous emails flooded my inbox, social media notifications buzzed incessantly, each one a potential jab. By the time it subsided, I was left numb, utterly unprepared for the emotional toll.
Sadly, this experience paints a disturbingly common picture. Online harassment has become a pervasive threat. A 2021 Pew Research Center study revealed that a staggering 41% of US adults have faced it. Even more concerning, the Anti-Defamation League reported a significant rise, with that number jumping to 52% in 2023. Public figures seem to be particularly vulnerable. Recent studies focusing on American journalists, Zimbabwean journalists, and even female members of the Swedish parliament all highlight this heightened risk.
"How did you deal with the trolls?" I asked. His answer? Document everything.
This evidence is your ammunition if you need to report the harassment to a platform or even law enforcement. Start by creating a dedicated folder and saving all those hateful emails. This can be done manually, or you can set up smart filters to automatically route all relevant emails there for easy retrieval.
Social media platforms are a double-edged sword. While they offer a voice, they also provide anonymity to those who choose to misuse it. Screenshots become your shield in this digital battlefield. Capture hateful comments, messages, or posts as concrete proof. Remember, these trolls may try to vanish their tracks by deleting their comments, but screenshots ensure you have a permanent record you can share with anyone investigating the harassment.
Documenting isn't a novel concept. Organizations across various areas advocate for this approach. PEN America, a champion of writing freedom, and prestigious institutions like the University of Chicago all recognize its importance. Even the National Network to End Domestic Violence includes it in their resources. The reality is, proof of online harassment holds just as much weight as offline evidence in today's connected world.
Don't Engage, Take Back Control
Another common refrain is "don't feed the trolls." The theory goes: starve them of attention, and they'll slink away bored. But this advice can feel victim-blaming. It places the responsibility to stop the harassment on the target, essentially asking them to turn the other cheek while the bullies run rampant.
This perspective has merit. Social media platforms should prioritize building robust moderation systems that swiftly identify and address harassment. The 2024 child safety hearing before US Congress is a step in the right direction, aiming to create a safer online environment for everyone. In an ideal world, the burden of regulating online conduct lies with Big Tech.
However, online safety is an ongoing battle, and for now, the power of response lies with you. In my case, many of the harassing accounts were blatant trolls - inflammatory usernames, antagonistic comments, a clear lack of genuine interest in dialogue. Engaging with them felt futile. No amount of explanation would win them over.
Following the American Psychological Association's guidance, I chose to weather the storm. I disengaged: logging off social media, filtering the hateful emails into a designated folder, burying them from sight. I redirected my energy towards activities that brought me joy, reclaiming control from the negativity. Remember, silence towards trolls can be a powerful response – it denies them the satisfaction of a reaction.
While ignoring harassment can be an effective strategy, it's not a one-size-fits-all solution. If responding feels right, you have options beyond simply fueling the fire.
Indirect Responses: Reclaim Your Space
First, consider indirect methods to reclaim control. You can mute threads, block harassing accounts, and report them for violating platform policies – actions most platforms claim to enforce regarding hate speech, threats, and bullying. This can prevent repeat harassment for you or others.
Direct Responses: Counterspeech and Reframing
If you feel safe and empowered to engage, consider "counterspeech" – a strategy that tackles and undermines negativity by redirecting the conversation constructively. Some individuals choose to "reclaim" hashtags, like K-Pop fans who flooded the #WhiteLivesMatter tag with K-Pop content in 2020.
Another approach is to spark a broader discussion around the hateful content itself, focusing on the argument's flaws rather than attacking the troll. For instance, instead of saying "You're sexist," you could explain why "Saying XYZ is problematic because..."
Finding Your Voice: Counterspeech with Caution
While counterspeech is endorsed by organizations like the United Nations, research suggests its effectiveness can vary. A 2021 study on anti-Asian hate showed counterspeech discouraged negativity, but another study on racism and homophobia found mixed results.
Ultimately, the choice of how to respond, or not respond, is yours. These options are here to empower you to take back control of your online experience.
Reclaim Your Joy: Self-Care After Online Harassment
Whether you choose to respond or not, the priority is your well-being. Take time to process your emotions in a healthy way. Do something you genuinely enjoy – hit the gym, meditate, or dive into your favorite video game. The choice is yours!
Social connection holds immense power in overcoming online harassment. One of the trolls' goals is to isolate you. Counteract this by intentionally spending time with loved ones. A 2014 study highlights that social support can come from anyone in your life, from family to friends. A more recent 2020 study emphasizes the numerous benefits of social support when facing bullying – increased confidence and decreased anxiety, to name a few.
So, reach out! Text your friends, make dinner plans with family, vent to your partner – or simply request a distraction. Any form of social interaction helps combat the feeling of isolation. Don't hesitate to seek professional guidance – a therapist or a cyberbullying hotline can provide valuable support. Remember, you are not alone.
If you need a social media detox, don't go it alone. Ask a trusted friend to keep an eye on your accounts. They can continue to document any new harassment and alert you if the situation escalates.
Seeking Help When Harassment Intensifies:
Rude comments can morph into serious threats. If you face stalking, hacking, doxing, or death threats, prioritize your safety. Contact law enforcement immediately and seek legal counsel. Maintain detailed records of every incident to ensure your case is taken seriously. In situations of immediate danger, call emergency services.
Cybersecurity Essentials:
Building strong digital defenses is crucial. Use complex passwords exceeding 16 characters with a mix of numbers and special characters. Never reuse passwords, and activate multi-factor authentication for an extra layer of security.
Privacy Settings: Your Shield
Social media platforms offer privacy settings – utilize them! Consider setting your accounts to private until the harassment subsides. Many platforms allow you to restrict replies to your posts, ensuring only approved followers can comment or share them. If needed, you can also disable comments entirely. For further protection, maintain separate personal and professional accounts, minimizing the risk of work-related harassment bleeding into your personal life.
Location Sharing: Discretion is Key
Social media often tags posts with your location data unless disabled. Review your privacy settings and turn off location sharing if desired. Browser extensions like "Privacy Party" can automate these settings, simplifying the process.
Digital Footprint Management: An Option
In severe cases, minimizing your digital footprint may be necessary. Paid services like "Delete Me" offer to remove your personal information like address, phone number, and social media activity from vast online databases and data broker websites. This significantly hinders someone's ability to unearth such information online. Similarly, services like "Tweet Delete" can automate the deletion of years' worth of social media content, allowing you to purge unwanted activity.
Online harassment can feel overwhelming, but by having a plan of action, you can respond effectively and minimize its impact on your life. Remember, you're not alone. Support networks and resources are available to help you navigate this challenging situation.